I’ve just read the newsletter of top dating coach Michael Myerscough on how to write an enticing profile for internet dating.
Apparently, men are attracted to ‘flirty’, ‘fruity’ profiles.
The women who are deluged with attention use words like: flirting, amorous, playful, snogging, experimental, massage, riding, sunshine, intimate, great kissers, says Michael.
“One woman talked about herself being ‘colourful, fruity and a little bit naughty just like her favourite cocktail’. For those of you that missed it the word cocktail probably wasn’t accidental,” says Michael.
Excuse my language but for F**K’s sake!? If I have to talk about cocktails in my profile to get a man’s attention, then I’m going to find me a nunnery.
I am finding internet dating a very, very odd environment. On the positive side, you know that you’re talking to (mostly) available men. But on the negative….it’s all so false and unnatural. And I’m not sure that throwing a few fruity cocktails into the mix is going to help???
I don’t mind admitting that I’m blonde and slim but I’m not going to give a virtual handjob to anyone. I want men to be attracted to the real me versus the blow-up doll fantasy version.
So what should I write? This is my latest profile. You can’t say I’m not being myself:
I‘m actually a bit of sci-fi nerd disguised as a slim, blonde writer. I write books, articles, blogs as well as run my own business but secretly love to watch Dr Who and Star Wars. My ultimate ambition is to be a jedi knight. I love films, attempt to write screenplays (badly) and called my dog Oscar because I want to win one. WLTM any superhero – but preferably in civvies versus tights. Supervillains need not apply. Be warned I have Xray vision.
All the men that have contacted me are generally intelligent, funny and we have a laugh. My profile definitely attracts men with a sense of humour. And my ‘dates’ didn’t turn up in tights. And I didn’t drink cocktails – fruity or otherwise. So far, so good.
The Big Love, I’m beginning to realise is not about squeezing yourself into a uncomfortable, inauthentic profiles or outfits that draw attention to your tits and has men talking to them all night but rather about a sense of connection with like-minded people – who want to have a laugh. Surely that’s the place to start?
But maybe I’m very wrong. My lovely client John Williams (who has agreed to do some guest blogging for me) sent me a link to his blog post. Forget about tits, it’s really all about the size of your mobile phone, apparently.
The Big Love Experiment
© 2010 Our Big Life.
19. May 2010 at 11:08 am
Oh for heavens sake, who is this guy?? Does he not realise there are a few of us out there who are genuine, real people not just out for a quick shag!
I only signed up to online dating recently. It’s a huge step to take and very difficult. And now I realise why – the whole concept is influenced by the Micheals of this world who should take them selves off to Soho.
I have been wondering if my profile needs to be a bit more upbeat – but if anyone suggested I call myself a cocktail , a great snogger or great kisser ( which I think we all are if the chemistry is right) I would have told them where to go in no uncertain terms.
There are plenty of sex chat lines out there – off you go Micheal….
19. May 2010 at 11:15 am
Oh dear……well I actually haven’t yet gone on any sites but that has put me off completely….how shallow….I don’t drink cocktails, I’m a beer and wine girl so where does that leave me? I suppose I could give big frothy head and a full bodied rub!!! Bloody hell Suzy it’s a nunnery for me too. I’m interested to learn about what men are writing to attract women….does he have any handy hints for them too?
19. May 2010 at 12:14 pm
I too have been put off internet dating by all the rubbish you are meant to put to attract men ! I have large boobs and am curvy, but I would never put that on a dating site ! Some of the profiles of men I’ve read, after my friends have pestered me to “get out there”, I would not want to meet on a dark night ! There has to be people ( Men ) out there who want a normal relationship ? Or maybe I’ve just looked at the wrong sites. Suzy you may need to warn the convents they could soon have a large amount of women wishing to join !
19. May 2010 at 12:34 pm
Doesn’t it just make you want to scream? I’ve just about had enough of dating sites already.
The only men that seem to contact me are either nerds who appear to have had their hair cut by their mum or men who decide after going to the trouble of writing a profile, talking to me, agreeing to meet me and in some cases ACTUALLY dating me that they didn’t want a girlfriend after all.
I dread to think what I’d get if I made reference to my cleavage and described myself as a Mo-fricking-jito.
19. May 2010 at 9:13 pm
Hi Suzie
When I separated first I was 40 and I did try inter-net sites and newspapers and singles events. I got fed up as anyone I met always was shorter than they described and older. Whilst I spent the next ten years mostly dateless a woman (similar age and marital status) I used to go socialising with was engaged eight times so there are guys out there.
Good luck with your search-
In retrospect I think I wasn’t really serious about men and therein lies the secret of success. Be clear what you want. I think “creative visioning” does work in the late 1990s I drew a version of what I wanted to meet and in 1999 I met someone who I did go out with who looked just like this drawing! I never thought about this at the time. I only realised that he looked like my visioning afterwards.( sadly whilst we got on- things didn’t work out but he was a really nice guy.